Dear Doctimus Prime,
I stumbled into a man I met two weeks ago here in the parish. He came to see the parish priest. Mr John. The voice was unmistakeable. His stature as imposing at the very first time we met. He had his back to me as I walked into the living room. He was speaking to Father Mark. I walked up to both of them and greeted. He was excited and gave me a hug. Father Mark teased him to stop calling me his “Brother” since we are not from the same state. He laughed and asked me if I know what ECS meant. “ECS”? No. “East Central State,” Father Mark blurted. “Yes”, John added, we are all one. Mark now recounted how his younger sister didn’t know what ECN stood for. I didn’t either. ECN is Electric Corporation of Nigeria. It was replaced by NEPA which has been replaced by PHCN. “Back when we used to have power,” Father Mark continued with an expression of loss written all over him. “A bulb could last up to a year.” “Two years,” John added almost immediately. He wasn’t so young if he remembers that much. You know how people like to romanticize about the past. I am obviously born into a new generation. I am sure I will have my own story to tell. But it is always helpful to know what has gone before and what is currently the situation of things. Only with these pieces of information can you better articulate your course of future actions. History, I think, will vindicate us if we learn from the past and refrain from ignorance.
I wasn’t just going to tell you about history Prime. I wanted to tell you that I have a new schedule that is making it increasingly difficult for me to write. I have to wake up early and be at mass. I return at a quarter past eight and barely have time to take breakfast and get myself ready for office. With the number of people who stop by each day, I don’t see myself constructing a single statement without hearing a knock on the door. But I will always try to scribble something for you as soon as time affords me the luxury.
We have a young priest visiting and I am enjoying his company. He said something very interesting about human relationship this morning that struck me. He said that most relationships, especially between guys and girls, are supposed to take the shape of a pyramid. At the base should be communication and mutual understanding, leading up to friendship. At the top, as a sort of culmination point, is SEX. The latter should serve as a “CAP-STONE” for a thriving relationship. In present day this pyramid has been inverted. This leaves sex at the base and couples try to work upwards. When they start having sex, they don’t know each other. And when they get to find out the other’s shortcomings, the base is already shaking since it is standing on a tip.
Something else which bothers me is the whole sex craze. It has always been a concern. But I don’t think that young people are doing themselves any good by opting for sex before marriage. This is compounded by the strange demands guys and girls make of each other. A guy once told me that he won’t like to marry a virgin. That it would be a whole lot of stress trying to deflower her. Another lady friend painted a rather funny picture. She would like her man to be a “pro” in bed before they meet. To my young man, I want to believe he was exaggerating the “stress” he complained about. The hymen, I later read, is a thin tissue covering the vaginal opening, leaving a space for menstrual flow when this takes place. It is not torn out but stretched when a lady has vaginal intercourse. So the insertion of the penis does not more than stretch this tissue creating more space in the vagina eventually. Only a dunce would consider this a “stress” especially if he really doesn’t know anything about a woman’s body than just having sex with her (“dunce”, dem tink say dem be don but dem neva done!). It should ordinarily be the joy of every man to know that he is his wife’s first and only love. This should also be the case with the woman. Does anyone need to go far to find out the reason we still have a lot of fail and short-lived marriages in a time when people boast about having great sex?
A boy asked me about his problem with masturbation. I told him a few things I will like to share with you. But that will be next time. I really have to go now. I am already late for my next appointment.
Dear Doctimus Prime,